MEN URGED TO SUPPORT THEIR WIVES DURING BREASTFEEDING-NUTRITIONIST

A nutritionist based in Minna, Niger State, Mrs Amina Isah has urged men to be more supportive to their wives during lactation (breastfeeding) period saying that such had a huge psychological role to play on mother and child.

Mother Breastfeeding child

Mrs Isah said in an interview in Minna on Monday, that supportive husbands tended to reduce stress from lactating mother.

She said that stress could certainly lead to minimal flow of the breast milk and cause the lactating mother to spend more time breastfeeding at any given time.

“Stress can certainly slow the flow as long as a mother continues to nurse her baby; stress is likely to stop her milk production.

“Breastfeeding reduces negative moods and stress, mothers nursing their babies can actually be assisted by their husbands to get over a stressful time,” the expert said.

Isah also advised husbands to be of help in the house chores rather than shirk their responsibilities.

”Men should not expect their wives to do all the house chores during maternity and still be able to do exclusive breastfeeding.

“If a woman is psychologically disturbed, there is no way she can do exclusive breastfeeding.”

According to Isah, study reveals that 25 per cent of Nigerian women are engaged in exclusive breastfeeding, saying that is grossly inadequate considering the population of child bearing women.

“This is not good enough; we expect that every woman should be able to do exclusive breastfeeding.

“Sucking the breast is different from sucking; the baby should suckle the mother’s breast exclusively for six months, for adequate nutrition and good bonding.”

VERY IMPORTANT FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MARRIAGE AS A CHRISTIAN

~The things no one tells you, but that everyone should know.

There are few people who really know what they’re getting into when it comes to getting married. We all have an idea of what marriage is all about. We have hopes, dreams and expectations of what it will look like. We watch movies, TV shows and even observe marriages in the world around us to try and get a glimpse of this thing we call Holy matrimony. But we don’t really know until we’re there, do we?

There are some things about marriage that I understood going into it, but there are so many things I could have never fully imagined. To this day, there is still so much that I’m learning. 

Here are some basic things I have learned about marriage.

1. MARRIAGE IS MORE INTIMATE THAN SEX

Often, one of the first things singles think about when it comes to marriage is sex. But while there is so much value and closeness within the sexual relationship, a good marriage is what makes for good sex, not the other way around.

Before marriage, I don’t think I grasped the real intimacy that comes with committing to this one person for the rest of my life. Marriage is an amazing opportunity to allow another person a look inside your life, your mind, your heart and your very soul. Now that is true intimacy.

2. MARRIAGE REVEALS SELFISHNESS, BUT CAN ALSO CULTIVATE SELFLESSNESS

I didn’t know how selfish I was until I got about six months into my marriage (probably more like six hours, but I’m being generous). From the silly moments of choosing where to eat and who gets the remote, to the more significant things like apologizing and putting your spouse’s needs before your own—you learn that true selflessness is something that has to be lived out. It’s a hard lesson, but also a beautiful reminder of a God who selflessly gave HIS all for me.

3. ONENESS LITERALLY MEANS ONE

We all think of the deep spiritual and physical benefits of oneness, but we don’t always consider the inconvenient parts of it. One house. One bed. One bathroom. One mirror above the bathroom sink. One bank account. One budget.

In marriage, you learn to let go of the “mine and yours” mentality, because everything is truly “ours.” There’s something really hard, but something really beautiful about that. It’s a reminder that at the end of the day what’s mine is yours … but everything we have is actually His.

4. AT SOME POINT, YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED

This one was a hard reality. I am fully aware of my human nature and that of my wife too, but for some reason this truth doesn’t really hit home until disappointment hits home.

My wife and I have love each other deeply, but we’ve also hurt each other deeply. When you allow someone to bury their heart in yours, there’s no doubt that one day, you will feel an ache. Whether In the form of an unkind word, a thoughtless action or a selfish moment, marriage will hurt. But by God’s grace, each wound paves the way for grace, forgiveness and restoration. Each wound is a reminder of our need to love better and more deeply.

5. LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU WILL AND MUST LEARN THE MEANING OF FORGIVENESS

With the certainty of being wounded comes the reality that you will need to learn forgiveness. The biggest lesson is that true forgiveness comes not because the person standing before you is deserving. Rather, it comes out of a heart that understands how much we’ve been forgiven though we, too, were undeserving.

6. MARRIAGE WILL COST YOU

The truth is, you lose a part of yourself within the glory of marriage. You exchange a little bit of who you are for a little bit of who your spouse is. You learn to give and take. You learn to let go of the things that don’t really matter. And in the end, you realize what you’ve given is far less than what you’ve ultimately received. Love is good like that.

7. LOVE ISN’T A FEELING, IT’S A SERIES OF DECISIONS

Before marriage, you can’t really comprehend the strong feelings going anywhere but higher. Then one day you realize that feelings can’t really be trusted, because some days you feel you may not even like each other. Feelings come, but feelings also go. They are a compass, and sometimes a guide, but they are never to be followed.

The test of real love is what you do when you don’t feel like loving. Marriage is constantly choosing to love, to give and to serve because of the commitment you have made. It’s choosing the other instead of choosing yourself. That’s the very definition of love in it’s truest form when in marriage.

8. MARRIAGE WILL REQUIRE YOU TO LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE

No matter what your communication bent, marriage will require you to take a good hard look at your opinions, beliefs, ideas and feelings—and share them with another. It will cause you to answer the hard questions and speak the difficult truths. Communication is the lifeline between two people. There’s no way around it. It will cause you to take responsibility for not just what you say, but also what you fail to say when you should've said it, how you say it—tone, body language, sarcasm etc.

9. MARRIAGE IS NOT THE END OF YOUR DESTINATION.

Before you’re married, it’s easy to see marriage as the grande finale. It’s the thing we dream of and live for. And then it finally comes! Now what?

This relationship God has blessed you with is a fraction of the grand scheme HE has for your life. Your purpose and passions will extend far beyond the reach of your relationship with your spouse. And God will use the relationship HE has given you, too, as the love between you and your spouse is reflected to the world. Marriage is not the end, it’s only the beginning. God has so much more up HIS sleeve for us.

10. MARRIAGE GIVES YOU A GLIMPSE OF SO MUCH MORE

On the same note, you learn a lot about God when you are rubbing up against someone day in and day out. There’s a reason God uses the analogy of marriage to describe HIS love for HIS Church. No relationship will ever compare to the intimacy that is exchanged within this earthly connection. God’s love for us magnified through the lens of a healthy marriage, but HE also uses this marriage to shape us, refine us and put us through the fire—making us more and more like HIM along the way. As Christians, reflecting Jesus is the greatest honor we can partake in when it comes to marriage, but more so, it’s the one and only thing that will keep our marriages alive.

There are many routes to holiness, and marriage is definitely one of those routes. Try to maintain and sustain the holiness in your matrimony: Remember the "Holy Matrimony" you started.
I am a different person because of this sacred relationship, and I know God’s not finished with me yet. I’m so thankful for the blessing of marriage, and look forward to what lies ahead.

DEAR HUSBANDS AND WIVES, PLEASE DON'T PROLONG YOUR QUARRELS.

Husbands and wives should learn to settle
their quarrels without delay. I have seen situations where couples allow a simple
disagreement to fester for days. Husband is silently hurting, expecting the wife to speak to him first. Same for the wife, hurting and
expecting the husband to play the man. The waiting game leads from one thing to the other.

If you are at this level of matrimony, please note this. You might have a reason to call your spouse and together refresh your oath that "OUR QUARRELS WOULD NOT LAST BEYOND THAT
MOMENT" (at most 24hrs).

This story was told by a man of God:
Husband and his wife had a domestic disagreement one
morning. The man said he was so bitter about it, claiming his wife knew she was wrong but refused to apologize. She felt it was a non issue that the husband should overlook easily. To say "I am sorry, darling", to her husband was difficult for her. So many people are like that.

So many wives take their husbands for granted
too much.  We are humans o. Blood flows in our
veins too. Make una hear well well.
Three days on, malice reigned in d house. The
husband said he must get that "I am sorry."

Wife cooked, husband refused 2 eat. Everyday
he came home with food from restaurant. He
avoided matrimonial bed. Husband found new
friends in the children. Same with wife. By the way, the children were too small to break the ice.

On Sunday, last Sunday, they went to church in
their different cars but sat side by side during
service, pretending to be jolly good husband and wife. Fraud in the house of God! Jibiti ponbele!

May God forgive some husbands and wives. But
after service, husband went home with the
children while she waited for women's meeting.
That day, Satan decided to enter the crack created by Mr and Mrs. in their home.

The husband was home already. When he perfunctorily checked his phone, his wife had called him thrice. He disregarded calling her back. Malice! The wife then drove in some forty
minutes later. He saw Usman opening the gate for her as his phone went on ringing. He checked it. It was his wife. She was in her car at
the garage already. What is she calling me for?

Foolish and stubborn wife! He said and ignored
her calls. The call went on for a while. He ignored it as he sat in front of the TV.
Thirty minutes later, she did not come in. Something told him to go and check. Is she still in the car? Yes she must be there.

He called Usman, Is madam in the car? Few minutes later,
Usman rushed in. Madam dey sleep inside the
car o. That was when he woke up and rushed
downstairs. Asthma! Could she be having her
usual attack? Could she have forgotten her
inhaler?

He quickly took the inhaler and rushed downstairs. When he got there, she was almost breathless. Usman and husband quickly carried
her to the back seat and off, he sped like a bat out of hell, to the clinic nearby. Madam was confirmed dead!

If he had picked her call early enough, probably she could have been saved. When you leave domestic disagreement to fester for too long, it
leads to greater evil. The preacher said husband
is weeping mad, blaming himself...i killed my wife!

Only God knows how many wives, husbands, children have died such a needless
death. Couples must cultivate one another. No matter how angry i am with my wife, I, in my office,
she, in her shop, I call her at least three times
during the day. I call even when i have no reason to call.

All i could say is "Where are you?" "Wetin dey?" "Anything for your boyfriend or girlfriend?" I am not saying this to impress anybody, but because it is true.
Couples must learn to respect each other.

15 STUPID THINGS A WIFE CAN DO TO MESS UP HER MARRIAGE…

1) DARING YOUR HUSBAND TO BEAT YOU:
You block the door way, then dare him to beat you up and see what will happen. A Lot of women have done this and end up regretting.

2) DARING YOUR HUSBAND TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN:
You will be making a major mistake if you dare your husband to sleep with another woman. You may live to regret it.

3) NEGLECTING YOUR BODY AND LOOKS BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED:
“I am married i can relax, after all who is looking at me.?” He married you Slim, sexy and trendy. Next thing you become obsessed, dirty and shabbily dressed.
It is the mistake of most careless married women.

4) DENYING YOUR HUSBAND SEX REGULARLY:
You are a career woman; You are an overly religious woman… Hmmm! You feel sex in marriage is secondary, you deny your husband your body regularly, so he is sexually starved and intimacy famished. His Secretary, colleagues and girls in church are seducing and begging him to come to them but you have padlocked your Jerusalem and expect him not to lust after others. His mind will drift from you towards them.

5) LEAVING YOUR HUSBAND FOR YOUR FEMALE FRIEND TO CATER FOR:
“My dear friend, please be my eye as I travel for this one week, help cater for my husband and my little kids”. By the time you are back, your dear friend has so really helped you by sleeping with your husband and expecting a new baby as continuation from where you stopped.
If at all she has not eloped with your man, leaving your children all alone.
It is very stupid to commit your husband into the hands of your beautiful and very active friend.

6) LEAVING YOUR HUSBAND IN THE HANDS OF YOUR HOUSE MAID:
Your maid is the one that cooks,cleans the house, cares for the children and your husband. You suddenly become a lazy bone since the arrival of the maid. All you do is shout and place orders. Not bad! But if your husband feels more love and care from the maid, sister that maid won’t struggle to snatch your husband. You are the one graciously giving him to her and those that need him.

7) EMPLOYING A FULLY GROWN, RED BLOODED LADY AS A MAID:
She is fully grown up and well endowed back and front very tantalizing. She dresses skimpily and sexily like an actress, cat walks like a model and that is your own house maid?
What a mistake!

8) EMPLOYING A HOUSE GIRL THAT IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOURSELF:
Employing a house girl more beautiful than you is a major technical mistake most women make. This means you are using your money to employ a rival for yourself. Don’t be foolish when getting a maid. They act dumb like maids to you for the time being but when your husband starts sleeping with them, you will be shocked they are more agile than you when they start fighting you.

9) USING ANALOG BRAIN TO LIVE WITH A DIGITAL HUSBAND:
Your husband is growing with ideas and all; you contribute nothing than sitting down at home to eat. He is dressing like a guy with jeans and face cap; you are celebrating the fact that you are a married woman to a Yuppy cute man. Your husband is on *Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp, Skype etc;* the only thing you know about mobile phone is receiving and making calls. Your husband is talking about stock market; you only talk about tomato market. He’s talking about Forex; you are talking about fruit and vegetables only. He will see you so backwards, local and dumb. Upgrade please!

10) FAILING TO COMMIT YOUR FAMILY INTO THE HANDS OF GOD:
A wife won’t do well if she fails to commit her family into the hands of God regularly. Don’t make such mistakes of thinking you are in charge of your husband and marriage and you can handle things. Be prayerful, hand over your family to God daily. May you never labour in vain and another reaps where you have sown!

11) FIGHTING YOUR MOTHER IN-LAW CARELESSLY:
You may fight your Mother in-law dirty and think you have won especially if she’s innocent, you will end up losing. Her son and herself have been friends and lovers for years before you came; may be before you were born. She was the first ‘wife’ of your husband and also the first ‘girlfriend’. Her son cannot divorce her, and she is more experienced than you are in matrimonial battles, in fact she is a veteran of many conflicts. Yes I know that a wife becomes a priority and number one and some men try to place their mums above their wives . That is stupid and sickening!
Always apply wisdom and talk to God and your husband about it. But don’t come in with the intention to separate mother and son. Respect a worthy mother in-law. Not all of them are wicked. Not all are witches. You meet a wicked one, apply wisdom and avoid her ways.

12) TELLING YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE:
When you tell your friends about your sex life and how your husband rocks you, you are indirectly telling them to go have a feel of him. They can size you up and know whether your husband is hot or not, whether he is sexually fulfilled or not. They may even know your Husband’s “turn on” and use it against him then grab your husband. Most women have carelessly lost their husbands as they boast to their friends “my husband is too sexually demanding, he is an expert when it comes to sex, he is a horse, he almost kills me in bed, he has a horse size” etc… Your friends will pick information like this and cover things up where you have been failing.

13) REPORTING YOUR HUSBAND TO HIS MUM:
It looks beautiful to report your husband to his Mum, but the end result will hurt you. Most mothers will support their sons any day; children are always right before their Mothers. Seek counsel in the right quarters, never report your husband to his Mum unless his mum is so god fearing, honest and impartial.

14) LETTING CHILDREN TAKE THE PLACE OF YOUR HUSBAND:
Many wives abandon their husbands, denying them of love, care and attention as soon as babies begin to arrive they transfer all affection to their kids. To sleep in bed, they put the Baby in between themselves making the man feel lost and the bond divided. No warm hugs, caress etc.

15) USING SEX WRONGLY:
Sex is supposed to bind you both together, it is supposed to create intimacy and love but in many homes it is the bone of contention. Some women do turn sex to a tool of manipulation;
Some use it for trade by barter. *Some wives will suddenly become commanders at home when their husbands touch them for sex, ordering the man around, “go and off the Fan” “go and lock the gate” “go and check whether our children are sleeping” “How about that money I asked you to give me?” Etc…*
This is just too bad.

Some wives sleep like log of wood in bed while some even wear Jean, knickers to bed.
Nothing sexy
Nothing erotic
Nothing romantic
Nothing Inviting!
If you continue like this you will hurt your marriage deeply and you may destroy your future also. He will start lusting and chasing sexy daughters of Jezebel out there who may fetish him out of home to themselves

A smart wife builds her home, the stupid ones are careless. I know you will be like…. Why can’t he have self control and stay faithful?

Forget it dear.

We are all humans and things push us to do things we never planned.

Be wise!!!