HOW TO FILE FOR A DIVORCE IN NIGERIA

Marriage can be seen as a legal agreement between a man and a woman to become husband and wife. Marriage is an institution that is supported by social and religious groups in Nigeria. It is meant to foster a long-lasting relationship between a man and a woman who intends to become married.

However, if for one reason or the other, things are not working according to plan and there is a change of heart from either the man or the woman, he/she may file for a divorce.

Before the issue of divorce sets in, the man and the woman should use all available means to try to come to a common understanding as divorce should be considered as a last resort.

Legal Meaning of Divorce

Divorce can be defined as the termination of a marital union, the organizing and/or canceling of the legal duties and responsibility of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a man and a woman who are married under the rule of law of a particular state.

Filling for divorce in Nigeria can be stressful: affecting living arrangements, finances, resources, schedules, and household jobs. However, it is better to know more about how to get a divorce in Nigeria before you file for it.

It is also important you get to know different disputes resolutions in Nigeria that can intervene on matrimonial matters, to see if the marriage can still work and divorce should only be the last resort.

However, if you must consider the option of a divorce, there are things you need to know before you begin the process.

Grounds for Divorce

There is only one ground subject to the provisions of the Acts on which a court is entitled to dissolve a marriage. That the marriage has broken down irretrievably. However, subject to the provision of section 15(2) (a)-(h) of the Act, there are 8 various classes of breakdown which can lead to the termination of a marriage, they are:

a. When a party has willfully and persistently refused to have sexual intercourse with the other party despite a number of requests.

b. When the petitioner finds it intolerable to live with the respondent after the respondent has reportedly committed adultery.

c. That since the marriage, the respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent due to cases like domestic violence, drunkenness, sodomy, etc.

d. Since the respondent has left or abandoned the petitioner for a continuous period of at least one year immediately preceding the presentation of the petition.

e. That both parties have lived apart for a continuous period of at least two years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition.

f. That both parties have lived apart for a continuous period of at least 3 years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition.

g. That both parties have, for a period of not less than 1 year failed to comply with restitution of conjugal rights made under the Act of the law.

h. That the other party has been absent from the petitioner for a long period of time and in a circumstance that provides reasonable grounds for presuming that the other party is dead

Steps to file for a divorce in Nigeria:

Step 1

The first step for filing for divorce in Nigeria is to get a good lawyer with experience in Family law and counsel. There are many law firms where you can get competent lawyers. You need to get one to represent you in court.

Step 2

You must understand that the divorce process depends on the type of marriage you have. If your marriage was formalized by registration, that is to mean you have a marriage license from a marriage registry. This type of marriage can be easily dissolved by the court because it was joined by the court.

Step 3

The next step is for you to consider under which ground you wish to file the divorce. There are certain grounds as discussed above which can be used to dissolve a marriage. When you are certain that the reason for your divorce fits into one or more of the grounds above and you have sufficient proves, you can then proceed to the next step.

Step 4

Before you file for a petition, you should try to consider some things that the outcome of the divorce might affect. These include;

• Who will have custody of the children should be one of the things you should consider. You need to decide if you want to take full custody of the children or if it will be shared.

• Will your partner pay for the upkeep of the children?

• How will the properties be shared?

However, with a good lawyer, the above can be sorted out easily because the lawyer should be able to provide good counsel and possible solutions on these matters. You can then proceed to file for the divorce once all the issues have been settled.

Step 5

At this stage, the divorce process commences officially as your lawyer files what is known as a petition of divorce in the high court. The lawyer files and drafts all necessary documents such that your petition must be filed in a professional and logical manner.

Step 6

Your petition will be given a file number in the family court division once your petition has been filled successfully. Your partner will be given a certain number of days to respond to the petition. He/she is given the right to either agree or disagree to dissolve the marriage.

Step 7

The court will then hear the case in an open court once your partner responds to the petition. At this point, witnesses (if there are) will be called to validate any evidence presented in the court.

Step 8

The judge will grant a divorce if he/she is satisfied that a divorce should be granted. The court then grants what is known as ‘decree nisi’ which means the marriage should be dissolved. Then the decree nisi will become ‘decree absolute’ after 3 months. This means you are now single again.

Note that the judge has the right to grant settlement however he dims it fit. He also has the right to share the properties among the partners or grant child custody to any of them. It all depends on how the petition is filed.

Conclusion

Now that you are aware of the legal way to file for a divorce, it is important you follow the procedure mentioned in this article so that you do not take laws into your own hands.

WOMEN WHO ARE VACUUMING THEIR VAGINAS TO STOP THEIR PERIODS RISK SEVERE INJURIES, EXPERTS WARN

THERE’S no doubt about it – all women want their periods over and done in a flash.

But some are taking matters into their own – dangerous – hands, by vacuuming their vaginas in the hope it will speed up the course of nature.

Women are reportedly using vacuum cleaners to end their periods early but medical and health professionals have warned that the dangerous procedure can cause severe internal damage and unsurprisingly, it’s landing them in accident and emergency (A&E).

For instance, a nurse in the US has taken to Twitter to warn women to “stop using your vacuum hose to end your period early”.

She wrote: “You’re gonna wind up sucking out a lot more than blood!

“There were two cases of this so far this week and both women had to be admitted. Just…STOP!”

It might sound absolutely bizarre (and painful) but there are forums dedicated to “menstrual extraction”, or ME.

ME works by creating a vacuum that suctions out the contents of the uterus through the cervix and is a black market or alternative practice for abortions in countries where abortion is illegal.

It’s been around since the 1970s when women’s rights activist, Lorraine Rothman, adapted the abortion method to be used as a way of getting rid of menstrual blood.

But the practice doesn’t use an actual vacuum cleaner– it’s supposed to be done using a device called a Del-Em, which is essentially a series of thin tubes, a pump and a bottle.

The contraption is used to create a vacuum.

It’s likely the women hospitalised for vacuuming their vaginas misunderstood that word to mean a vacuum cleaner, rather than a space without oxygen.

Like home abortions, which have killed millions of women denied access to legal terminations across the world, the medical and health professionals have warned the idea of vacuuming out your period – whatever tool you use – is a bad idea.

‘Utterly bizarre’ procedure risks severe injury

As well as general trauma and shock, you run the risk of infection, puncturing your uterus, and worsening symptoms, one expert told The Sun.

Obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Shazia Malik said: “It’s dangerous in so many ways and an utterly bizarre concept that won’t work but might do serious harm.”

What kind of harm?

“Vaginal laceration, damage to the cervix and life-threatening infection from the germs on the hose,” Dr Malik said.

If you’ve got a really heavy period, don’t try to suck it out – you’ve got to look into whyyou’re bleeding so much.

You might have PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids, or worst-case scenario, cervical cancer.

And if the risk of getting a nasty infection doesn’t put you off, just imagine having parts of your vagina ripped out by a Dyson cleaner.

The nurse, who tweets as @OdesseyT99, said that the women “used the suction hose to suck out their periods hoping to end them early”.

She added: “They both sent themselves into shock instead.”

Everyone’s period has a flow of its own and happens at a rate their body can tolerate.

“A vacuum increases that flow over a 1000 times which your body can’t tolerate, therefore sending you into shock,” the nurse explained.

TWO KEYS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

TWO KEYS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.

It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.

To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:

One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:35-40)

I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.

Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?

As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!

Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:

“Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you, Lord Jesus, to forgive the past self-centeredness, and come into our lives and relationship. Direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put You and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to You. Amen.”

OKRO, SNAILS BAD IN PREGNANCY? MORE OF SUPERSTITION THAN FACTS

Although conception and delivery are biological events, many communities attach cultural importance to the phenomena. While many societies have taboos that are applicable to members of such societies, there are additional ones for pregnant women that are believed  would protect the woman and her unborn child from evil and ensure safe delivery.

Several communities have food taboos for their pregnant women which inadvertently deprive them of some vital nutrients. Pregnant women in different parts of the world are forced to abstain from nutritious foods.  Their food preferences are also influenced by economics, health conditions, religious requirements and the unpredictable demands of the pregnant body.

Experts who explore the most common food taboos during pregnancy and potential health implications, identified more than 50 types of prohibited food during pregnancy. Examples are fresh meat, eggs, ripe plantain and some fruits and vegetables.

In India, among rural women of Surendranagar, pawpaw (papaya), citrus and groundnut are avoided during pregnancy with the belief that such foods could cause abortion, placental disruption, difficult labour etc.

Nutritious foods such as snails, ripe plantain, okra and many others, in most societies in Africa, mothers or mothers-in-law reinforce are avoided for fear of complications such as  placental disruption, difficult labour and diarrhoea  during pregnancy and childbirth.

The fact however is there is no medical food taboo in pregnancy. The biggest challenge is that most of the taboos lack scientific justification. “The food taboos are based on people’s culture, myths and legends.  The only thing that constitutes a medical food taboo will be a food substance that will be considered a drug,” said Dr. Nike Bello, a consultant obstetric and gynaecologist, University College Hospital (UCH), Ibadan, Oyo State.

She added, “Imagine a food substance that contains something like marijuana, such will be not be advised as far as we are concerned medically. The only thing that constitutes a medical food taboo will be a food substance that will be considered a drug, a dangerous drug. To some extent, caffeine is also not advised based on findings from studies.”

Many foods and drinks contain caffeine, not just coffee. Examples include some sodas, energy drinks, chocolate, and tea. Some cold and flu remedies also contain caffeine.

Although in Yoruba folklore, there is a taboo against eating things such as okra, snail and milk in pregnancy, Dr. Bello said, “they are all nutritious; they all contain vitamins and other nutrients that are necessary during pregnancy. So if they like them, they can go ahead to eat them.”

Bello declared that things such as eating snails in pregnancy and the new baby drooling saliva or cocoyam or beans causing abdominal discomfort are misconceptions passed from one generation to another.

Some foods are, however, best avoided in pregnancy by women with gestational diabetes. Gestational diabetes is a type of diabetes that occurs in pregnancy usually after 20 weeks. There are no symptoms that the blood sugar level is high but sometimes, the woman will experience extreme thirst, hunger, or fatigue.

According to Dr. Bello, “In that situation, the diet will be restricted because it is obvious that the pregnant woman’s body cannot handle sugar the way it should normally.”

Foods pregnant women are advised to avoid because they easily increase blood sugar levels include processed foods such as sausages, sugar-sweetened beverages and foods with added sugar like cakes.

Dr. Bello, however, said such pregnancy-related food beliefs may be inimical to the health of the pregnant woman and her unborn baby. As a result of these practices, pregnant women may suffer from iron and protein deficiencies which could result in anaemia in pregnancy, which increases the risk of hemorrhagic shock and death, especially from bleeding during delivery.

She said: “For a healthy pregnancy, the mother’s diet needs to be balanced and nutritious.  This involves the right balance of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats, and consuming a wide variety of plants like vegetables, and fruits. Fruits and vegetables are the cornerstones of any nutritious diet, and they are especially important during pregnancy.”

In Nigeria, researchers had investigated the food perceived as good and bad or those to be avoided by 148 middle class urban pregnant Hausa and Yoruba women aged 15 to 42 years. They were in their second trimester and attending antenatal care in Agege Local Government maternity centre. The 2010 study was published in the journal, Early Child Development and Care.

Food items perceived as bad and avoided by the Yoruba pregnant women include bush meat because it is forbidden by family and could cause babies to behave similarly when fully grown; snake can cause abortion; cocoyam can cause abdominal discomfort.

Vegetables tagged ‘bad’ by them included Gynuraamplexicalis (Ebolo in Yoruba) and Solanum melgongena (Igbagba in Yoruba). Likewise, some disliked avoiding guava because they do not like the taste, while some avoid oranges because they claimed that it could cause yellow fever and affects a child’s teeth.

Foods items avoided by Hausa women include cassava meals (Eba) because it is thought to cause abdominal discomfort, ache and heaviness. They tagged sweet potato as bad in pregnancy because they assume that it could cause diarrhoea and diabetes. Also, beniseed (Ishwa) is linked with excessive mucus formation in the mother’s womb which causes blindness in the baby.

Fruits like banana are taken off their diet because it is thought to cause intestinal worms; guava could cause constipation or abortion and oranges could make breast milk to be watery. Vegetables such as pumpkin leaf and bitter leaf are also tagged bad and avoided.

According to the study, anaemia was higher among the Hausa women than the Yoruba counterparts. Also, the incidence of low birth weight in this study for Yoruba was 14.8 per cent while the value for the Hausa was 22.9 per cent.

This difference could only be explained as a result of the lack or insufficient intake of green vegetables and fruits items available but not utilised.

More than 50 per cent of the women had weight below the recommended weekly standard of 0.45kg/week. About 66.9 per cent of the women lost weight in their third trimester of pregnancy. Nevertheless, only about 14.9 per cent of the pregnant women had weight extremely above the recommended weight gain/week during the pregnancy.

The difference in weight loss could only be explained in terms of limited and insufficient calories among the women group.

This study also confirms the beliefs of pregnant women that the “outcome of the pregnancy” which is a live baby far outweighs the temporary food restrictions that may be imposed by customs.

WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO BABY GIRL 5 MONTHS AFTER GIVING BIRTH TO TWINS IN LAGOS (PHOTOS)

In an extremely rare case in Nigeria, a woman has reportedly given birth to a baby girl five months after delivering a set of twins.

According to Enate Ogedegbe who officiated
the naming ceremony of the children on
Sunday, October 4, along with one pastor
Daniel Osierih, the woman was childless seven
years after her marriage.

My ‘Co-Laborer’ Pastor Daniel Osierih and I, had the Privilege to Minister and Officiate at this Naming ceremony ...

The Couple had been Childless for 7 years, then God gave them Twins (a boy and girl), Who are 4 years now.

They had another set of Twin girls in April 2020 (during the Lockdown), ....after which, the Mother started Experiencing Terrible Pains in her stomach, the Scans Revealed NOTHING. So she engaged a ‘Local Ijaw’ woman to massage her stomach several times a week.

After 3 months, the Ijaw Woman indicated she suspected there was still a baby in her womb, and asked her to go for Another Scan, which she did at the Island Maternity Lagos State.

That was how they discovered this THIRD baby Girl, that she Delivered Safely on the 18th of September, 2020.

(Her husband was abroad during the Lockdown and only returned last week).
Is there a Medical Explanation for this?
God is Faithful...!

#GodOfMiracles

Genesis 18:14(NLT)
Is Anything Too HARD for the LORD?
I will RETURN about this time next year, and Sarah will have a Son.

FAMILY PLANNING: UNTOLD TRUTH ABOUT FEMALE CONDOMS

~ By The Society for Media Advocacy on Health, Nigeria,

The disease burden resulting from unsafe sex, including HIV infection and other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), has profoundly impacted the health of people all over the world.

Looking at HIV prevalence rate for instance, since the beginning of the epidemic, 76 million people have been infected with the HIV virus and about 33 million people have died of HIV/AIDS and globally, 38.0 million people were living with HIV at the end of 2019, according to World Health Organisation (WHO).

The WHO African region remains most severely affected, with nearly one in every 25 adults living with HIV and accounting for more than two-thirds of the people living with HIV worldwide. In Nigeria for instance, UNAIDS and the National Agency for the Control of AIDS estimate that there are 1.9 million people living with HIV in Nigeria.

While STIs that go undiagnosed do not only lead to long-term complications such as infertility and cervical cancer but also enhance HIV susceptibility, consistent condom use remains the most effective barrier against STIs.

Condom is the only type of contraception that can both prevent pregnancy and protect one against STIs. There are two types of condoms: male condoms, worn by men; and female condoms, worn by women.

In recent time however, research has shown that the male condom has become more prominent than the female condom and the reason for that is not far-fetched.

A study titled: “Awareness and utilisation of female condoms among street youths in Ibadan, an urban setting in South-West Nigeria”, revealed that most Nigerians do not know how the female condom looks like.

The study which was conducted among 964 youths between ages 15 to 24 years old using questionnaires to elicit information, shows that almost half (47.9 per cent) of the respondents have heard about female condoms however only 16.8 per cent have ever seen one while 4.3 per cent have actually ever used a female condom.

Majority of Nigerians do not have the privilege to know how female condom looks like, simply because family planning service providers, who are the gatekeepers as they often have more time to spend with clients, mostly introduce the male condom to their clients.

One of sure clients is Mrs Abigail Uchenna who said each time she goes to a health facility to get condom, she is always been given the male condom. “I don’t even know how the female condom looks like,” she said.

While condom is the only type of contraception that can both prevent pregnancy and protect one against sexually transmitted infections, research has shown that the male condom cannot prevent infections like gonorrhoea alone.

According to a study titles: “Effectiveness of the female condom in preventing HIV and sexually transmitted infections: a systematic review and meta-analysis”, it was revealed that female condoms plus male condoms may be as effective as male condoms only in reducing HIV acquisition.

However, the use of female condoms plus male condoms is superior to male condoms alone in reducing the acquisition of gonorrhoea and chlamydia.

It says, “The use of female and male condoms is more effective than use of male condoms only in preventing chlamydia and gonorrhoea and probably more effective in preventing trichomoniasis and other STIs.”

Though female condom plays a key role in family planning, its use in Nigeria has remained very low due to culture, religion and other related barriers, says former country director, Pathfinder International, Dr Farouk Jega.

Jega listed some of the barriers to female condom as, “one in ten condoms imported into the country is for female, while the remaining nine are designed for men and the cost of purchase, access and low knowledge on availability of female condoms.”

He said, “If you look at the modern contraceptive methods generally, there is lack of awareness generally about the existence of modern contraception. But, even bigger problem I think is the disconnect between knowledge and use.

“Even though knowledge is about 74 percent of modern contraception among Nigerians, use is extremely low. Currently, only about 10 percent of people in Nigeria use modern contraception, that is as a result of very many reasons, cultural, religious, access issues.

“People may know about these contraceptives, but they do not know where to get them. They may not even have the wherewithal, that is the finances, to access them. Specifically, talking about female condom, for a long time, the problem has really been that of lack of awareness. We all know about male condoms for a long time, I think it is recently that the awareness about female condom is beginning to emerge.